My Passover Dream

I had a crazy dream the other day and when I woke up, I realized it was a “Passover” dream.  I was having dinner with some observant friends of mine and when we were finished, we went outside to a beach where it was still light out.   Soon, I began to notice groups of Chassidic men dressed in black (their usual attire) balancing on very tall waves.  While they were balancing, they were smiling, dancing, and doing other tricks such as spinning and balancing on their heads.  It was amazing!  When I awoke, I made the connection between the  parting of the Red Sea when the Jews fled Egypt.  Beautiful!  Happy Passover!

My Big Mouth

Read my post at Chicago Moms Blog ,“This Jew is Apologizing For Her Big Mouth,” about what happens when I open my big mouth and ask a neighbor about how long she plans to keep up her Christmas decorations.  I also talk about how Jews are supposed to take responsibility for our actions as a community.

Book Review: This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Trooper

I never would have guessed that a book about a family of three brothers and a sister mourning the loss of their father would be enjoyable and entertaining. Johnathan Trooper’s This Is Where I Leave You is the story of a Jewish family who gets together reluctantly to sit “Shiva” (“seven” in Hebrew for the traditional seven days of mourning in Judaism). The entire story takes place over those seven days.

It was ironic that Chicago Moms Blog and its sister sites decided to review this book at this time (disclaimer: I was given this book) because my husband, like the main character Judd Foxman, buried his father just recently. Without getting too much into Gadget Man’s family details, lets just say that it has been a very, very difficult time, mostly because his relationship with his father was strained, and his relationship with one of his brothers fell apart following their father’s death. In distinct contrast to the Foxman family, my husband’s family did not sit a traditional Shiva following their loss. Trooper’s book describes some of the Shiva rituals such as sitting on low chairs, covering mirrors, receiving guests, sharing cherished memories of the deceased, and reciting Kaddish, a reaffirmation in G-d. My husband’s brother, a non-practicing self-hating Jew and his Catholic wife announced that one evening of a “Shiva” would take place at their home and put out colorful cupcakes and pepperoni pizza (mixing milk and meat is forbidden in Judaism). There were crafts and a moonwalk set up for the children. No one was telling stories of my father-in-law. No one was sharing any sort of emotion whatsoever. Indeed, I believe that had my husband’s brothers sat Shiva, even for a day or two, they would not be estranged from one another as they are now.

Like my husband, Judd’s relationship with his older brother was strained. For years, Judd believed that his brother was unjustifiably holding a grudge. In a moment of clarity, when the brothers finally got together to discuss their feelings, Judd was able to see things from his brother’s point of view. This part of the book really spoke to me. I had been blinded by my husband’s point of view, and never really bothered to look at things from my brother-in-law’s perspective. I had believed that Gadget Man was unjustifiably vilified. I still don’t know why my brother-in-law is so angry with my husband, but I’m much more open to hearing things from another perspective. Thank you, Mr. Trooper, for opening my eyes.

Trooper is adept at pointing out little psychological truths. For example, when Judd’s wife asks him how he’s feeling, he remarks:

Our minds, unedited by guilt or shame, are selfish and unkind, and the majority of our thoughts, at any given time, are not for public consumption . . . We don’t share our thoughts, we share carefully sanitized, watered-down versions of them. Hollywood adaptations of those thoughts dumbed down for the PG-13 crowd (p. 137).

Trooper can be quite poetic at times. When Judd finds his father’s old watch, he remembers clicking the diving bezel around the face of the watch as a child. “The clicks feel different without his wrist anchoring the watch,” he notes. Lines like that brought me to tears.

For links to more thoughts on this book, visit Chicago Moms Blog.

Jews Should be Vegetarians

Plug in "Kosher" on PETA's website to get the facts

I read this article a long time ago (3 years?), but I wanted to bring it some more attention. Richard H. Schwartz argues that Vegetarianism is a Jewish Value. I completely agree (though I still eat fish, I’m not that proud of it and perhaps someday I’ll stop). Indeed, even if all efforts are made to kill the animal humanely, there seems to be a “loophole” in the Kosher laws that says nothing about how an animal is kept.

PETA's Website will give you the facts

I’m not sure Jews who keep Kosher know this or really care, but since there are no requirements regarding how an animal to be served Kosher is raised and kept, the conditions are oftentimes just as atrocious as non-Kosher meat and poultry. I’ve gone on before about how just there mere raising of cattle does tremendous damage to the earth G-d left us to care for.

The Loss of a Child is Always Unfair

One of my “sister” bloggers at LA Moms Blog just lost her daughter. At these times, I have a hard time believing that G-d cares about us, that G-d is watching us, and that G-d is all-powerful. I have been struggling with these alleged characteristics of G-d for a long time. I just can’t love a G-d that allows children and other innocents to suffer. I am fine with thanking G-d for all of my blessings. I feel that my life is very blessed. But when I look back in history or I look at the suffering that is going on today, I just can’ t believe that an all-knowing, all-powerful, merciful G-d exists among all this. Don’t even start with that crap that “G-d works in mysterious ways . . . ” and that “we just aren’t meant to understand it . . .” No matter what G-d’s reason is for this kind of suffering, I can’t love G-d for it. I can be thankful to G-d for my own blessings, but I can’t sing praises as long as this kind of suffering continues.

It’s Ok to Be “Pro-Palestinian Rights” and “Pro-Israel”

Contrary to what Presidential candidate McCain and his cronies would have the public believe, it is NOT inconsistent to be a friend to Israel and a friend to the Palestinians. McCain “accuses” Presidential candidate (and hopefully soon to be elected) Obama of praising Rashid Khalidi, a pro-Palestinian scholar and activist. This accusation is supposed to scare all the old Jewish people (in Florida mostly) so that they will vote for McCain who touts himself as a better friend to Israel. Frankly, I don’t know Khalidi’s work. However, I do know that it is not inconsistent to be pro-Palestinian rights and pro-Israel. In fact, human rights are a cornerstone to the Jewish beliefs. Personally (and I am a Jew), I want Palestinians to have all the human and civil rights Israelis are entitled to, whether it is in their own state or in Israel. A lot of people believe this. So, McCain, when you wag your finger and shout that big bad Obama is pro-Palestinian rights, you don’t scare me. What scares me is that you are implying that Palestinians should not have rights! What’s wrong with you? Don’t you believe in human and civil rights? Oh, I almost forgot, you’re a Republican. Peace.

Keeping Track of Who is a “Jew”

Once in a while, I go online and look at various anti-semitic websites to see who hates me (I’m Jewish) and what they have to say about Jews. I came across this website that calls itself the “Christian Party.” It has a long list identifying who is a “Jew.” I don’t know where they get this information. For what purpose is this list? Let’s just say I doubt the “Christian Party” (whoever they are) wants you to use it when you compile your holiday gift list. Indeed, I was surprised to find a few football players on that list. I have to question their accuracy right there. I didn’t know my congresswoman was Jewish. But then they go and identify Steven Spielberg as a Jew. What a shocker! Oh, and if you visit the “Christian Party” website’s home page, you can take their poll so that they can see whether you think Blacks should be exiled. Really, I’m serious. I’m going to take the poll, but I’m a bit scared of the potential repercussions of providing my email address. What would Jesus do? Oh well, the “Christian Party” says they are about “love not hate” we shall see.

My Grandfather Died

I haven’t posted in a long time b/c I was out in Maryland at my Grandfather’s bedside just before he passed away. He was 94 and had a full life until recently when he started to show his age and his health declined. I have been really affected by my experience. I will write a longer post later, but suffice it to say that he suffered needlessly at the end b/c the hospital staff was totally unresponsive to his pain. There is something seriously wrong with our society’s views on death and aging. Well, Eva has a terrible cold and will be home today. I’d better get back to the kiddies.

Blacks and Jews Have Much in Common

I admire Martin Luther King Jr. tremendously. Sometimes, I wonder where we would be today without him. Sometimes, I wonder where we would be today if he had lived a longer life. In his day, many Blacks and Jews were united (click on this link to see an informative news story about this ) behind the common cause of Civil Rights. Why shouldn’t we be? Yeah, there are many differences, especially the reason why we are in this country. Jews, of course, came here voluntarily, we were looking for a better life, and/or escaping the Pogroms or the Nazis. The majority of African Americans, as we all know, came here most involuntarily. But we still have a lot in common. Historically, both of us have suffered as slaves at the hands of tyrants. We still face discrimination and we are still subjected to stereotyping by Hollywood and the media.

What is my point? Ok, I’m going to come right out and say it. There are a lot of racist Jews. Although I was raised in a house where not a racist word was ever uttered (really), I hear my fellow Jews, especially those in my parents’ generation, spout Black racist jokes and subscribe to many derogatory stereotypes. I never understood this. Why would Jews, who have been treated unfairly, treat others in such a fashion? I just don’t get that hypocrisy.

My childhood Rabbi taught me to speak up whenever I hear someone spout that racist crap (ok, he never said “crap”). He said that if we, as listeners, allow it to be said without objection, it is as if we are in agreement. Indeed, whenever I hear a racist joke or a racist comment, I ALWAYS speak up. To hell with being polite and respectful to these old folks. They can think and feel whatever they want. They can even say whatever they want (I think we still have free speech in this country, though I’m not sure) but I don’t have to stand for it. I use my right to free speech to tell them I don’t approve of that kind of talk. Won’t you? Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel said, “Hitler did not come to power with tanks and machine guns. Hitler came to power with words”. Words are powerful tools. Use them for good.

Jesus . . . camp. Just DO Something!!!

This is Paster Becky Fisher talking to children in the movie

Jesus Camp. Have you seen this movie? Please do. It is a documentary that follows a couple of children and an evangelist for children. Ok, as you all know, I’m Jewish, so there’s a bias right there. I am very interested in religion, my husband has “caught” me listening to Christian radio on a number of occasions. This movie was fascinating and disturbing at the same time. First, these children are encouraged to “Go to war for Jesus.” I’m not clear who these children are instructed to fight (nonbelievers?), but is it a Christian ethic to “go to war?” What happened to “love thy neighbor” and “turn the other cheek?” Evangelist Fisher suggested that if Harry Potter were a real person, and if he had been alive in the “days of the Old Testament,” he would have been strung up and killed. Her audience actually clapped at the thought of killing a child! (I just started reading the last book yesterday, so please don’t tell me if Harry Potter goes “bad” ). The pastor tells the children they can change the world — great. Does she teach them how to help and comfort the poor, heal the sick, clean up the earth? I didn’t see any evidence of that. Everything is pray, pray, pray. Where was the “DO”? One of the homeschooling moms in the movie was so proud of the fact that her son didn’t believe that man was the cause of global warming. Ah, that’s a good reason not to “DO” anything to help the earth. Oh, well, if there is pollution, perhaps praying about it will solve the problem.

My aunt and uncle are born again Christians. When they were having financial trouble, I asked them, “What are you going to do?” My uncle’s answer was, “We are praying.”

My childhood rabbi once relayed this story: There was a terrible flood and a man was forced to go on to his rooftop to avoid drowning. While he was on his roof, he prayed to God to save him. Meanwhile, two strangers in a row boat came by and asked him if he wanted help. He replied, “No thank you, God will provide for me.” Next, the Coast Guard whizzed over and invited him on the boat. To them he replied, “No thank you. God will provide for me.” Finally, when the water was almost to the top of his roof, a helicopter with a ladder hovered over him “No thank you!” he shouted to the pilot, “God will provide for me.” After he drowned and met God in heaven, he asked, “God, why did you forsake me?” God replied, “Forsake you? I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?”

My thoughts: Prayer is all well and good, but actions are more important! I used to carpool with a born-again Christian. I asked her if I was going to hell because I was Jewish. She meekly replied, “Yes, sorry.” I inquired, “Even if I devote my life to helping others and never break a single commandment? Even then would I go to hell?” “Yes,” she answered, “because you must believe that Jesus died for your sins in order to go to heaven.” Ouch! What does that mean for poor Mother Teresa (since it recently came out that she had her doubts about God)? If she’s not going to heaven, I guess I don’t stand a chance. If you are a believer or a non-believer, it is all the same to me. Just get out there and DO something positive. Help yourself, help others, help the animals, help the earth. Hey, since so many of us are not going to heaven anyway, let’s make our heaven right here on earth (this is probably pure blasphemy, isn’t it?)