Ants! I’ll Get You Mother F*ckers!

Friday, another mom on the playground asked me if the “ants showed up yet.” “What?” I asked. “Oh, it’s my fault, I left cookies out on the counter last night.” She was talking about the ants that invaded her house. I was feeling a tad bit superior b/c we didn’t have any ants inside our house. In fact, with the exception for a brief couple of days last year, we have never had ants in our house. Unfortunately, the second we entered the house, Charlie spotted an ant. I assumed we brought it in with us. No such luck. Five ants later in our kitchen and I was freaking out. Typically, I want to see all living things thrive and I don’t want to see them hurt (one of many reasons why we don’t eat meat). However, when it comes to my home, all bets are off. I feel like it is a personal attack on me when bugs or mice (we’ve had mice!) come into my home. I become obsessed. I want them gone! Right away, I got out the vinegar and water. I vacuumed and washed the floors. A few hours later, I spotted some more. I refused to go to sleep until Gadget Man (or I) went out to get some ant traps. Three days later and here they are again! I cleaned the floor again and ten minutes later, I spot some. I recently read that an ant can smell a crumb 100 yards away. With two little ones, a dog, and a husband who eats over the kitchen sink, we don’t stand a chance!

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Discipline as Easy as 123?

Do you have a discipline strategy that works with your children? Back when Eva was three, Gadget Man and I began Dr. Thomas Phelan’s 123 Magic. I just saw him speak in person. You can view my “notes” and thoughts about Dr. Phelan on Chicago Moms Blog.

Muffin Top! What Happened to Love Handles?

Sometimes, I’m a little bit behind the times,especially when it comes to fashion. I JUST heard the phrase “muffin top,” and it wasn’t in reference to the Seinfeld episode. You know, the one where Elaine only enjoyed eating the tops of the muffins, so she tried to donate a bunch of muffin bottoms to a soup kitchen. A “muffin top, ” occurs when flabby tummy flesh rolls out over the tops of pants. I have been keenly aware of my muffin top, ever since I gained ten pounds seemingly overnight. None of my pants fit me right now. It is even worse today, since I’m on day two of my period.

What happened to those endearing “love handles?” I have always had a couple of love handles and they weren’t my best asset, but they didn’t bother me as much as my “muffin top.” I have temporarily solved the problem with two new pairs of pants. (I refuse to buy a whole new wardrobe since I am determined to fit into my old clothes again). I can’t buy any new t-shirts because all of the t-shirts in the stores are tissue-thin and merely enhance the outline of my muffin top. Of course, I know that buying new clothes is not the answer. I think we should all just go back to calling them “love handles.”

If You Can Get to Silicon Valley By Saturday: Please Donate!

This Saturday, April 19th, you are needed in Silicon Valley to register for bone marrow donation. If you can do it, you can read more about it at this link. Here are the bare facts:

  • Date: Saturday, April 19, 2008
  • Location: 95 Crescent Drive, Palo Alto, CA 94301 (right near highway 101)
  • Time: 9:00am to 3:30pm
  • To be eligible to donate, you must be between the ages of 18 to 60.