I had my very first mammogram last week. Saturday, I checked my voice mail right after Torah Study to find that my Ob/Gyn’s office called. The nurse who took my return call informed me that they had found a lump on my left breast, and that the hospital should have already called me to schedule a diagnostic exam to take a better look at it. So, I waited all weekend for Monday, only to find out that I have to wait until next Monday for the diagnostic exam. “It’s ok to wait?” I asked the person on the other end of the phone, completely unaware as to whether she was a nurse or just a scheduling receptionist. “Yes,” she replied confidently. Deep down, I believe that she couldn’t possibly know whether it is ok to wait another week before finding out whether I may have breast cancer. Both of my grandmothers suffered from it.
Ten years ago, I had a lump on that very same breast. I felt it myself and they aspirated it immediately only to discover it was completely harmless. “Maybe it is just another of the same,” Gadget Man said reassuringly. I’m not going to tell my mother. She’s scheduled to go on a vacation and she already worries too much. I worry too much, or do I?
My breasts have really been wonderful to me. They nursed my children for four years. They also seem to be holding up pretty well for an old broad of forty. Will I have to let them go? Will they wind up being the end of me? I am worried and I’m scared. I just wish I could find out sooner. It is the waiting that is the most difficult part.